How to Write Kissing Scenes that ROCK!

Oh my gosh I'm so excited. I have never felt so well prepared for a blog topic ever. I have studied this subject extensively, and have so many opinions, because to me, plot is just the stuff that happens between kissing scenes.

So...How to write kissing scenes that ROCK!

Step 1. Make a couple that rocks. You can write a good kissing scene between a doomed couple, but a kissing scene only ROCKS if the reader believes in them. Which means they should be able to communicate like humans long before they lock lips. This couple should sacrifice for each other, long for each other, and complete each other - one character's strength balancing out another's weakness, etc. 

Step 2. Conflict. There should be a reason why they aren't kissing. And the stronger the force pushing them apart, the more you can show the longing and the desire to be together, so make it a good Conflict. Make it impossible. Make the reader doubt that it will happen.

Step 3. Time. They need to long for each other way before their lips meet. They need to earn an awesome kissing scene, and that takes effort, pain, sacrifice, and time. And not just for the characters...I'm actually talking about the readers. The readers need to be invested, which means they need to make a sacrifice, they need to be emotionally connected to these characters, and it needs to happen later on in the book, so the reader has invested their time in a couple.  If a kissing scene isn't working, then maybe it's just too soon. Just don't wait too long, because that also is a thing.

I went through this with my book The Waxling. I wrote the scene where Ari and Henry get together way too soon, and it didn't work for any of the beta readers. So I changed it into a fight scene, where Ari and Henry break up instead, and it works so much better. The longing to be together is still there. I remember where they kissed, and the point in the conversation, if they were just brave enough to say what they were feeling, they would be making out is, so there is an undercurrent of loss through out the fight that really works.

I think ninety nine percent of the work that goes into a good kissing scene happens before the kiss.

Once they've earned the moment, and the reader believes in the couple, and their longing for each other is bigger than the conflict that is standing between them, then you have a kissing scene that really works.

Now you just have to write it.

Tips for writing the scene itself.

1. Turn down the voice in your head that gets embarrassed, but don't turn it off. A good kissing scene can get weird easily, and so try to keep a weird meter running while writing it.

2. Remember the senses, but you don't need to use all of them. I don't need to know the sound of a kiss. Gross I tells ya. I don't want to read about it. But the reader needs to know what is actually happening, and what it feels like. They've put the work in with the couple, and you can give them a few details to make it special. Go in close for the POV. Notice the smell of the girl's perfume, the taste of orange juice on lips, the rough stubble, or soft skin, increased heartbeat, etc. 

3, Remember the setting. There are a lot of kisses in the world, and two people  kissing can feel unspecial. One kiss can blend in with another, so don't forget what makes your couple special, and remind the reader of that while in the scene. Choose the location, setting, and moment of the kiss in a way that it reminds the reader of the struggle to get there. 

This is an example of a kiss that really works because of the use of setting, and even the theme of the story. Start at 1:30. 

 I also love how in that kiss, you can see him waiting, and wondering, and oh my gosh James McAvoy is adorable, and once he knows it's her, he doesn't wait. He is done waiting and runs to her. It's adorable.  

So while you are zoomed in close for the moment, don't forget to show the whole picture, because otherwise they are just giant heads.

4. Remember the moment BEFORE the kiss, and give it time. There's fear before a kiss, awkwardness, longing, and something special, so whatever you do don't forget to take a breath beforehand, or not have time to have a breath so all those stomach clenching moments happen so fast it makes the kiss itself sparks fire.

5. Remember the moment AFTER the kiss. This is a real pet peeve of mine, but you got to remember to pull back, or to have an awkward smile, or a consequence to the kiss. I hate when you have a kissing scene, and then they start talking, and as a reader you're like..."wait when did the kiss end?"

 A good kiss is like a good story, it has to have a beginning, a middle, and an end.

This clip is a good example of a powerful beginning, middle, and end. Also James McAvoy. 

6. Remember the fear. Every good kiss is a risk. To love at all is to be vulnerable, so don't lose the heart pounding vulnerability in favor of steam. And don't forget also the character's age and experience.  Pet peeve number two, is when a character is acting out of character just for a kiss. You get invested in characters being together, so don't forget to invite them to show up. 

7. Less is more. Sometimes yes, you need every sense and every moment of a kiss, but sometimes, you simply don't. If you've done the work before the scene well, then you don't need every moment for the reader to get it. Sometimes simple is the best policy.

This is a non James McAvoy example. This is from The Waxling, which will be coming out, you know, sometime, whenever. This is near the end, after Henry and Ari have struggled and longed and earned each other. Henry writes a letter and finally tells Ari he loves her, and then a disaster happens, and they work together to solve it, and he keeps asking her if she got his letter, because he doesn't know what her reaction will be, and she's terrified, and keeps changing the subject. Then once the disaster is solved, this happens.

I clutched the folds of my nightgown between my fists. “I got your letter,” I said to him. Sarah took three steps forward without us. Henry swallowed, his jaw tense.

“And?”

I let out a breath. “I read it four times.”

The terror didn’t leave his eyes. “And?” 

I smiled. 

And then Henry Johnson, the boy who sat with me, and painted for me, and found me, ignored my parent’s watching, and the council members, and the Singers, and he put his hand around my cheek, and he kissed me like he’d waited his whole life to do it.

Oh my gosh it's so cute. It probably only works for me, because I've read all the work I've done, and I know what "sat with me," and "painted for me," and "found me" means to Ari, (You'll have to read it to get the full toe curling experience) but it works in one sentence, without any taste or touch or embarrassingly too personal moments. When you go less, the reader gets to imagine their own moment, and that gives them ownership of it. 

Which of course is the goal and secret to a kissing scene that rocks. It has to rock for the reader. Remember them. Their reaction and experience is more important then the character's reaction and experience.

Or you can just cast James McAvoy or Benedict Cumberbatch. That will also do it.

~Sheena Boekweg

Progress Report.

We're about to send Pyromancy to the betas, and there's been an odd week here, where Melanie and I are done but we're waiting for Sabrina to give it a once over before we send it, so there's a vacancy of WIPs, for me.

 In some ways it's nice. I've read a bunch of amazing books, including Code Name Verity, which broke my brain and my heart at the same time. (I've since forced three separate women I know and love to READ this book.) But the absence has made me bring out Waxling again.

I've blogged about Waxling before. A few of you beautiful readers were even my betas for it.

I'll tell the rest of you what the betas came back with. It's a good story with major structural problems. And it took me a couple of months away to really digest the beta's comments, and figure out all the solutions.

So now, I'm applying the solutions and I'm happy with it. Sort of. The main problem, is that story tells two love stories, and it's a short book, and simply put-- that's too much love story into one book. One love story needs to be the star, so I've decided to back seat one of the love stories, which sounds dirtier than it is.

 Ha. I'm sorry, Mom. Anyway.

I'm getting to the point in the story where I have to delete stuff that I love, and I just don't want to and you can't make me.

 I keep thinking maybe I can just lose this paragraph, or chapter, or sentence, and the story will be just fine. I agree with my own thoughts, which is you know...helpful, and my mind and my outline all make sense, and I go to the text and highlight, and I just can't press delete. I created a separate file, so I can save it to put it in a later chapter, but I go to the file, highlight the words, press control c, and then can't do it.

They say you should kill your darlings. They say you shouldn't be so attached to any sentence or word that it hurts to cut them, or that you do whatever you can to serve the story and get the story out there, but I say, please don't make me cut this chapter. Please don't make me lose this line that I love, even if it makes the story better without it.

So it just sits there, in a file, waiting for me to be brave enough to break it.

Now the story has more structural problems than ever before. It's half way fixed, and half way broken. I love it and want everyone to read it, and it's broken and no one can read it until it's finished. I know how to finish it, but it means breaking my heart to do it, and no thank you. Let's watch cat videos instead.

So it's there. This story that I could finish and publish if I was just brave enough to lose a paragraph I love, or smart enough to find a reason to keep it.

I'm too close to the story now. It's too personal. It feels like taking my name off of it.

Writing is really hard work. It breaks your heart sometimes.

I'll take a breath.

 Kiss me, Hardy. Kiss me quick.

I just clicked delete.

~Sheena

Starting Something New

Alchemy is done. There are still lines to dot, formatting and tenses to be considered, but all in all the book is done. And while we were taking a brief break after working full time on the story, I decided to play with another story.

I'm now 20,000 words in.

And I'm in love.

So I thought I'd share my...

 World Building/ Novel Jump Survival Parachute.

Or how I go from an idea to a first draft.

1. Join Pinterest.

Yes, in a way, this could be the biggest antiproductivity website since facebook, but when used for the forces of creativity, this is an awesome place to put your ideas, and hunt for inspiration. There are pictures in my waxling file that lead to moments, characters, and plot points in the text. There is beauty and creativity that wouldn't exist without me randomly pinning something a friend posted. This new book wouldn't exist without Pinterest. It's a great way to dive in, especially if you are planning on writing quick.

If you plan on doing nano this year, now might be a good idea to search for random inspiring pictures. Make an inspiration board, and then go to it whenever you're feeling blocked. Here's my waxling board. It's inspired the crap out of me, and I hope it adds to your creativity too.

2. Music. 

Working on Alchemy taught me the most helpful writing skill that I've ever learned. That is simply, how to write while listening to music. I was never able to do that before, but now, NOTHING shuts out my life, or my inner editor like my Spotify playlist. It is a constantly evolving thing and I'm not sure how to share it through blogger.( If you know, tell me in comments)

 But there's one song that starts out every writing day for me, and it's Counting Stars by One Republic. I listen to this song, look over my pinterest board, and write like the wind.

Go ahead and try to not be inspired. (it's safe for work, or young children)

3. Read poetry. 

For reals, yo. I've been really working on adding beauty to my prose, and nothing says beauty like poetry. I've been carrying around my grandmother's poetry book for the last few days, and whenever I have a bored moment, I pull it out and read something by Milton, Marvelli, or Shakespeare. Inspiring little magic moments.

It's magic in a different way too. My grandma is a poet, and her book has little notes written in pencil. Little tips, and study notes, and underlined words directly from her. I've been working on adding poetry to my prose by choosing a few of her underlined words. They are inspiring and beautiful and rare. Using them in my descriptions has made my writing beautiful.

My Grandma's work.

 Spiderwebs, haunted hallways, cacophony, symphony, illuminate, waxwork, have all found their places in my story.

4. Tell a love story without limits.

 Sabrina and Melanie can attest to this, but the hardest and most amazing part about working on Alchemy for me, was that I couldn't control all aspects of the love story I wanted to tell. Maybe it's just that restriction, but telling this love story has been extra fun.

I think sometimes we writers put limits on a love story. I know I have, and sometimes those limits are necessary, or else they'll make out and the story is over.

This story I'm telling has a love story that makes me smile. I think there's nothing wrong with writing love as hope. I've never really done that before. Usually I use love as a curse, at least until they find a happy ending, but in this one, love makes the darkness better. Love makes this story one I can't wait to dive back into.

I'm not saying you can't write dark dismal depressing love stories. You can. There's something so beautiful about that.

What I'm saying, is that I can't write darkness today. I wrote the first kissing scene in the book today, and it made my whole day curl it's toes.

Why not use the first draft to add joy? You can always add in more darkness later.

5. Forget perfection...

...and jump with your eyes closed.

It's a first draft, so no matter what I do, or how much I prepare, it isn't going to be anywhere near perfect.

But there's something so amazing about diving into a new story. There's something so freeing about knowing your writing can be fixed later, and right now you just have to tell a story, and meet new friends, and fall in love for the first time, all over again.

Happy diving.
~Sheena