Monday, May 20, 2013

Living In A World That Breaks My Heart.

The world makes me sad. I just clicked over to facebook, and I read about what's happening in Oklahoma right now. A tornado came through and destroyed an elementary school. It's too early to know anything yet, and I'm hoping, and praying for the best. I'm hoping those amazing teachers we trust our kids with, have all those little ones in a safe place. I hope they all find their way back home to their moms and dads.

Maybe the world is getting worse, or maybe the world is just getting smaller and we're hearing of more bad things. Or maybe it's just that I'm now a grown up, and am no longer kept away from the bad things of the world, but living in this crappy world sucks some times. It's amazing to me how small and simple my bubble of what I think about is. I don't realize how trivial it all is, until something like this happens. Is it just me, or is this stuff happening more and more?

How do I send my kids to school when people can walk in carrying guns. How do I love my children fully if they could just go and die on me?

I know that's a self-centered view. I also know that this world is full of people who have their own pain, their own heartbreak, their own monsters lurking in the shadows, and their own tragic stories. It's a part of growing up, I think, to realize that dragons are real. It's a part of growing a pair to try to figure out how to save yourself from them. And I think it's a part of growing wiser to realize there's nothing you can do but love fully, like your heart won't ever be broken.

Life is fragile. Life breaks my heart.

I need you to write more stories. I NEED you to finish that beautiful story hiding in YOUR hard drive that will give me a moment of peace and safety. I need you to tell me how I can survive in a world that could take my children away from me.

But whatever you do...write a story that's full of hope. Because what the world and I need more than anything, is more HOPE.

Please. I need more hope.


I'm posting this,and thinking of those third graders and their families.


  1. That is heartbreaking. My heart goes out to all those families in Oklahoma.

    I hate that I can't just wrap my kids in bubble wrap and keep them safe forever. But we have to let them live and hope that they will be come home safe.

    Beautiful post!

  2. Thank you for this. My thoughts and prayers are with the people in Oklahoma, and I'm hugging my own children a little more tightly today.

  3. Several day's after I posted this I don't know why this affected me the way it did. I felt like I was taking it personally, even though I don't know anyone affected by the tornado. But I think it was a question of faith. After Newtown, I carry too much anger toward that sick kid who walked into a school. I think the idea of a tornado...walking into a school and destroying children, made me mad at God.

    I took it personally, because my relationship with my Heavenly Father is super personal to me.

    I apologize for getting too personal here...although I think expressing my feelings about personal things is part of the job description, I think I stepped too far, and took ownership of someone else's pain. That's not cool.

    My prayers(to a God I love) and help to those affected in the storm.

  4. It's hard not to feel someone else's pain in a situation like this. It's hard not to be angry, even when there is no one to blame. Maybe more so in that case. You can't help but wonder why something like that had to happen, and unfortunately there aren't any answers.

    I think your post showed a great deal of empathy, and I don't think there are many mothers in this country that weren't moved to tears when the news flashed those headlines. Writers are emotional people in general, I think. You have to be if you want to create a compelling story. I don't think there is anything wrong with getting personal. We're all human beings. We can all share a little of each other's pain from time to time.


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