That All Important First Paragraph

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If you don’t read ex-agent now author Nathan Bransford’s blog  you should start.  He has done a lot to help and encourage aspiring writers.  Last week he held his Fifth Sort-of-Annual Stupendously Ultimate First Paragraph Contest.  This contest is awesome for three reasons.

1.   The winner and finalists get some awesome prizes like partial manuscript critiques by an agent and query letter critiques by Nathan Bransford.  These are prizes that could potentially help you land an agent.

2.   When he announces the finalists and the winner, Bransford takes some time and talks about opening paragraphs.  Trends he sees in the samples, things that work and things that don’t work, and he points out the elements in the opening paragraphs he chose as finalists that won him over.  Overall, his analysis is extremely helpful.

3.  If you spend a little time (okay a lot) and read through the entries, you can get a good idea of what an agent or editor’s slush pile looks likes, and what makes some first paragraphs stand out over others.

I’m going to summarize some of his points and share some of my own ideas, but first I want to provide the links so you can read what Bransford has to say for yourself.  Well worth the time, IMO.

Contest entries (if you want to see what the slush pile looks like):  1^st contest, 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th, and 5^th.

The finalists announcement and discussion of opening paragraph:  1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th, and 5^th.

The winner announcement and discussion of finalists’ paragraphs:  1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th, and 5^th.

Now that you've read through all of that, here are some things that I'd like to highlight.

What is needed in the first paragraph

 I struggle a lot with beginnings (and endings for that matter).  The first paragraph is so hard to write, and I think that is because it needs to do so many things, introduce character and setting, help the reader get their bearings, establish the tone and voice, and give the reader a good idea of what they are getting into.  It is a bit daunting when considering everything that needs to go into so few words.

I know when I’m trying to perfect that opening paragraph, there are so many things I want to establish immediately because I feel like the reader needs to know all of these things up front.  Sometimes I have to force myself to slow down.  Not everything has to be in that first paragraph, just enough to ease the reader in.

Nathan Bransford said that there are three important things a first paragraph needs to do: “…it establishes the tone/voice, it gets the reader into the flow of the book, and it establishes trust between the author and reader.” 

I agree completely with what he says here.  Tone is very important to establish early.  This plays a large role in making a promise of what type of story is being told.  Is it light-hearted or dark?  A roaring adventure or a quiet slice of life? These are things a reader needs to know from the start.  

I think it is interesting how he talks about establishing trust.  A reader is planning on spending a bit of their time in the writer’s world. They need to feel that they are in good hands. 

And finally, Nathan talks about the importance of flow. This is something he brings up a lot in discussions about first paragraphs.  Having a nice flow is important throughout the story, but perhaps it is a little more important in the first paragraph when the reader is first trying to find their bearings.

Nathan Bransford describes it better.

“The concept of flow and rhythm is especially important. It's hard to begin reading a book. The reader is starting with a blank slate and doesn't have much context for understanding what is happening. It takes a lot of brain power to read the opening and begin to feel comfortable in the world of that book. So even if the novel starts with action, or especially if it begins with action, it's very important to draw in the reader methodically, with one thought leading to the next. The flow of the words and a steady building goes a long way toward hooking the reader. Quite a few paragraphs jumped around or felt scattered, and it made it difficult to stay engaged.”

Pressure to Hook the reader

I think we writers sometimes feel a lot of pressure to make the first paragraph hookish or very clever or intriguing, and perhaps first paragraph contests like this only seem to emphasize that importance to immediately capture a reader’s interest.  But really if you try to force something into your story that doesn’t belong, it will only backfire.  I think beginnings need to feel authentic and natural more than anything else.

But don’t take my word for it.  Let’s see what Nathan has to say.

“And...... what didn't work?  Well, in general I'm wary of anything that feels forced: forced cleverness, forced wordiness, forced cheekiness, forced sagacity.... anything that doesn't feel natural and authentic. Great first paragraphs feel effortless, and of course they're anything but.” 

And

“Lots of really great books have very quiet and/or unremarkable first paragraphs. Your book is not going to succeed or fail based solely on its first paragraph. While I do think a good first paragraph can help grab a reader, I hope the takeaway from this contest isn't to elevate the first paragraph more than it deserves or convey that it's essential to cram the entire plot into the first paragraph or to make it overly clever or to treat it as anything but it what it is: your reader's first impression of the book.” 

The importance of being original

One more thing that I’ve learned from these contests is that originality stands out big time.  I know that there are cliché starts that we’ve all been warned not to use (or at least try to avoid if possible), like waking up or a character looking in the mirror or starting with weather, just to name a few.  And every once and a while an aspiring writer argues against these “rules” citing the many published books that have started that very way.  I think that it is important to see what agents and editors are seeing.  Go through and read a page or so of the entries in Nathan’s contest, and you will see how quickly many of those beginnings blur together, and if you’re trying to capture the agent/editor’s attention, that is a bad thing.

In this last contest, there were so many entries that dealt with death, finding a body, burying a body, the protagonist being dead or having died before.  I understand that this is a very dramatic way to start a novel.  Death is a very emotional thing, but after reading so many of these, they no longer stood out.  I glossed over them because they didn’t feel original.

I think we aspiring writers need to realize what agents and editors are seeing in their slush piles isn’t what we are seeing at the bookstore, and when they are kind enough to point out openings that are cliché to them, we should listen.  I’m not saying you can’t start your novel with death or waking up or any of those “cliché” openings, but you should be aware of the pitfalls if you do.  Honestly, you should try to avoid them if at all possible, but if it’s not, if that is the place your story has to begin, then make sure it sparkles and shines because it will need to stand out big time to feel original.

That is all I got.  So tell me what you think makes a great opening paragraph.

~MaryAnn

Why Opening Pages Get Rejected

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Happy Election Day all you US citizens.  That is as political as I’m going to get.

Besides there are much more pressing matters to discuss like reasons why an agent might reject your first few pages.

This is an awesome blog post I came across the other day by author Anne Mini.  Apparently, she went to a writer’s conference and attended a session where attendees submit the first two pages of their manuscripts to be read out loud, and three agents on the panel tell the audience when they would stop reading and why.  Anne, being awesome and amazing, wrote down every reason they gave for not reading on and every reason they gave to read on.  She explains the whole thing much better on her blog post which is really insightful, so make sure you go read it.

There are seventy-four reasons given to not read on, and only eight reasons given to read on.  I don’t think this is a checklist of things to make sure you don’t do, and a lot of them are vague and subjective and while these are reasons that might stop these particular agents, others may not be bothered by them at all. 

But there are a few take home lessons I got from the seventy-four reason not to read on, so I thought I’d share them with you. 

1.  All those little rules that we writers teach each other, really do bug agents.  In fact, several of them may stop an agent from finishing the first page of your manuscript (#11-don’t start with a scene that ends up being a dream, #13-avoid cliché phrases, #21- don’t have a character looking in the mirror to describe him/herself, # 27-don’t open with flashbacks, # 52-aviod saidisms, #70-show don’t tell, just to name a few).

2.  Don’t try to create false tension by withholding information.  There are several examples of this #16, 17, 18, 19, and 20.  These include unnamed items, person, or facts.  As a reader, I also find this very frustrating.

3.  There seems to be these little tricks we writers use to make writing easier for us, and the agents are on to us and don’t like it.  Here are a few examples: 

#15. "The opening had a character do something that characters only do in books, not real life. Specifically singled out: a character who shakes her head to clear an image, 'he shook his head to clear the cobwebs.'" This is something I do actually do in real life.  I do subconsciously shake my head when I’m deep in thought, and I’ve caught myself doing this, so I really don’t think that this action is unrealistic.  But I’m guessing agents must see this kind of phrasing a lot.  I’ve used it in my writing.  I think that this could be a crutch because it is such an easy way to transition from a character being deep in thought to returning to what is presently happening in the story.  So I do think this is something to watch out for.

#60. "The writing falls back on common shorthand descriptions. Specifically singled out: 'She did not trust herself to speak,' 'She didn’t want to look…'"  Once again, I don’t think that these type of phrases should never be used, but they must be overly used or used in the wrong way to annoy agents enough that they won’t read on.

4.  Conflict, conflict, conflict.  A story really needs some sort of conflict right up from the start (see # 6, 32, 33, and 41).  But don’t try too hard (#4, 42, 65, and 69).

 Although I do think that there is a lot to learn from the reasons these pages were rejected, I also think we can learn more by considering why some opens weren’t.  Here are a couple that really stood out to me.

#1 "A non-average character in a situation you wouldn’t expect."

#4. "The scene was emotionally engaging"

#5. "The voice is strong and easy to relate to."

#6. "The suspense seemed inherent to the story, not just how it was told."

#8. ”There was something going on beyond just the surface action.”

But I think this whole list can be summed up in that there was something interesting going on on the page.  Whether it was mysterious, emotional, or engaging.

I know this is a lot to take in and it feels daunting thinking about all the reasons your story might be rejected so quickly, so I want to leave you with my take on how stories should begin.

I believe every story has the right place to begin, and I think for probably most of us aspiring and even published writers, it is really, really hard to find that place.  Sometimes you have to write the whole story before you see it, sometimes you need a little insight from your beta's, and sometimes the beginning just comes to you from the moment you start typing.  

I think it is really important to find that perfect spot and not fall into the trap of easy openings like waking up, character dreaming, or looking in the mirror.  And once you find that spot, you need write it honestly, in the moment of the character, and let the plot points and characterization and world-building fall naturally into place.  Don't force information on the reader, but don't keep it from them either.  Let the story unfold naturally.

And I think if you do that, then it won't matter if you violate one or two or even ten of these reasons for rejection.  You can read this list and shrug it off because that is where and how your story begins.

Not that any of this is as easy as it sounds, but writing is never easy.  

~MaryAnn