Dealing with rejection

I just finished my semi-annual hope-like-hell-then-get-rejected round of Clarion applications. Rejection is something every writer needs to deal with and since it's been a couple of years since coping mechanisms have been discussed, it is certainly high time for a revision round.

I was afraid you'd say that.

Make it into a game

I'm an alumnus of Mary Robinette Kowal's Writing on the Fast Track course. Last November she set up a Facebook group for all of her students and this year I devised a game to keep us all putting ourselves out there: at the end of the year I will send out two big slabs of chocolate for the person who has managed to gather the most rejections this year.

Author Kevin J. Anderson has an actual trophy, the Writer with no Future, because he had the most rejections - by weight - out of all the authors at a particular convention (750- to over 800 varying by the telling). My personal goal in life is to take that trophy away from him. So, Mr Anderson, be warned!

So shake your, hopefully metaphorical, tail at the rejectioneers and rejoice in every one of them. Then submit your work onward.

Friends can help

If you've had a particularly bad disappointment, even your non-writing friends will most likely be there to buck up your spirits with pictures of owls, kittens and fennec foxes. As well as some sage advice.

Although be kind to your friends and don't complain about each and every rejection, since you are hopefully getting a lot of them by now.

Writer friends are especially helpful at this point since they will have been through this too and will readily offer you whiskey and chocolate to help you recover.

Punch something

If the chocolate and whiskey don't do the trick you might get the overwhelming need to punch something.

Though for everyone's sake, please make sure it's a bag, a pad or someone who doesn't mind getting punched.

In any case, physical exertion is very, very good for you. Working out causes your body to release a chemical called endorphin, which is apparently related to morphine. And much like morphine, it will create a positive feeling, often described as "euphoric" in your body. Just without the negative side effects of, you know, addiction and eventual ruination. So embrace your violent side and sign up for boxing lessons.

Have a good cry and move on

Sometimes you just have to mourn the loss of something that was never yours to begin with. Put on a sad movie if you like.

Have a good cry, eat a tub of ice cream and go to bed exhausted from all the ice cream and crying.

Then the next day get your story out for the next round of rejections.

It'll be easier next time

Maybe not. Okay, so maybe this isn't a perfect plan. But I'm working on it.

Submission Systems and Rejectomancy

I know, I'm talking about rejection again. But if you write and submit short stories this is something you're constantly dealing with and depending on the market, rejectomancy can be anything from a fun game to pure obsession.

From the Urban Dictionary: Rejectomancy - The art of analyzing a rejection letter (particularly one received upon submitting a short story to a magazine) in order to elicit a positive or self-assuring message hidden therein.

However, with modern electronic submission systems this definition is only half the equation. Add to this great tracking sites like the (Submission) Grinder and you can obsess about your subs until the cows come home. Note: The Grinder is a free service, though I encourage anyone who uses it regularly to donate a few $ if they can.

How, you ask? Well, let's start with one of the best submission systems around. Clarkesworld not only sends you a confirmation that they got the story, when you follow the provided link you can see the status of your sub and know exactly where you are in the queue. The staff there have excellent response times. Just last week I subbed a story at 1pm on Wednesday. It started at number forty-two (not as lucky of a number as I'd hoped), by the evening it was at thirty-two. Then they dared to go home for the day. The next morning I moved to number twenty-one quickly and then it showed rejected by 11am. I got the email stating that about an hour later. I also know that the system shows if you've been held over for a second round. You can't get more efficient than that.

Some places use a similar system without the number in the queue. Asimov's, for example. The flaw in their system comes from the fact that sometimes pieces move from 'received' to 'under review' and stay there for a really long time, or they go straight from 'received' to rejection. With those inconsistencies, it becomes somewhat more difficult to obsess about check when you might receive the expected response.

And then there are some places where you simply e-mail your submission. Some of these have auto-confirmation, some don't. Personally I much prefer getting a confirmation. I hate the idea that after waiting ninety days I might query only to find that they never got the submission. But with the email sub, there's no way to know where you are in the process until they decide to contact you. The same goes for hard copy submissions, though those are becoming very rare. I will only go to the trouble of printing something out and putting postage on it for Fantasy and Science Fiction, because I'd love to list them on my cover letter.

It's this last group where the (Submission) Grinder comes in. You can see how recently a given publication has been responding to submissions. If you use their tracker, you also know how long your sub has been there and you can watch your little purple dot march across the graph making its way through red towers of rejection or approaching the green peaks of acceptance. You can see if submissions newer than yours have been responded to. Of course, this leads to the question of whether your story has been passed up or if it's just with a slow slush reader.

The Grinder also shows in shades of orange and red when your subs have exceeded the normal response time for a market. I currently have four orange submissions out of twelve. Two should be on the cusp of a response, both of which I'm foolishly hopeful about. One I know is in the final round and I'm well informed with the editor's status on the project. The last orange sub is something I may withdraw but the story is older and I don't have too many pro places left to send it.

Rejectomancy comes in when you have a sub that's near the usual response time for a publication and you check its status several times a day, either through their sub system or using the Grinder to monitor other's results. Theoretically, you should be writing new material, not worrying about the stuff that's already out until you actually get a response – and if a story gets rejected, turn it around and send it out again.

That's a nice theory, but when all that data is just a click away, I can't resist. For some publications I'd be embarrassed if I knew how many times I'd actually checked in a day. That's where the line between game and obsession gets blurry. The rush is sort of like buying a lottery ticket. You know your chances may be slim but it's worth it for the opportunity to dream.

How much Rejectomancing do you do?

PS: I promise my next post won't have anything to do with rejection. It might be about visiting the Space Shuttle for my birthday, but as Yoda said, "Always in motion, the future," so we'll see.

Until next time.

When Rejection Hits Hard

First, I would like to say how happy I am to have been invited to join this great group of writers in contributing to The Prosers blog. In a field where rejection is so common, to receive an invitation is refreshing, and flattering.

Speaking of rejection, I got one earlier today. Not a big deal – I knew the story wasn't a brilliant fit, but I had stuff at all the other pro markets and I needed someplace to send it. Besides, I believe it's the editor's job to reject the story, not mine. You never know what might catch an editor's fancy.

After writing for a while, you tend to get a thick skin regarding rejections. You realize that it's not personal and it's not always because there's fault with the story. And yet, sometimes there is one rejection that stings. And that rejection kicks you in the slats and it hurts no matter how much logic tells you it shouldn't. Worse yet, this is the rejection that takes you down the evil road where you start doubting your abilities and wonder if you'll ever sell anything ever again. Once you're on that road, it's easy to avoid writing because you're afraid it'll all just be crap anyway.

So what do you do?

Keep writing is the pat answer, but it's not always the right one. You might need a day or two off for an emotional reset. That's okay as long as you don't do it with every rejection, or stay away too long. The writing muscles in your brain get rusty fast without regular use.

But what if you're having trouble getting back to it? Then I say work on your writing without actually writing. Outline that story idea that's been simmering, do some research, write a practice scene or free write if that's to your taste. It all counts – don't let anyone tell you it doesn't. At some point, the words will catch and your characters will speak to you again and the next thing you know, you'll be writing up a storm. You'll have forgotten your doubts because you know the next thing you write is going to knock 'em dead. And if it doesn't, tough. Because you're going to write something great after that. You're going to keep improving and writing and submitting until the editors sit up and take notice. The next rejection that stings? You're going to work through that too because you know it's just part of the process. There is only one thing you can't do.

You can't quit.

Being a writer is a long slog filled with rejection, but when someone laughs or cries at your words, or comes into work late because they had to find out what happened to a character you created out of thin air, you'll know it's all worth it. Keep writing, keep learning and you will get there.

Rejection is not the end; it is the opportunity to show your work to another editor. And another, and another…

Dealing With Rejection

Taken from here.

Have you seen this article by The Huffington Post about Pam van Hylckama Vlieg, a literary agent with Larsen Pomada in San Francisco, who was recently attacked by a disgruntled author?  After receiving a rejection to his query, the man allegedly found her in a parking lot, where he repeatedly smashed her face into her steering wheel.  Thankfully, van Hylckama Vlieg was able to get away, and according to her Twitter page, she's doing okay.

Now this calls into question Internet usage, and the sometimes ugly side of social networking.  Sheena has an excellent post about over-sharing here.  I won't go into the safety issues that arise from sharing your every move on Facebook or Twitter.  It should be common sense, and if it's not, the Huffington Post link goes into that far better than I could.  I'm more interested in the disturbing--and apparently commonplace practice--of sending hate mail to agents after being rejected.

I doubt anyone reading this post needs to be told that this is a no-no.  It is my sincere belief that people are, on a whole, good.  But it makes me wonder how others handle rejection.  What do you do when, after pouring your heart out into a story, after sweating over your query for hours, you receive a form rejection?  Worse, when you receive a personal rejection that cuts your work down or calls into question your decision to be a writer?  What then?

I've had my share of query rejection.  Most of them were very bland.  "Thank you for your submission.  We do not feel we are suited to this project.  Good luck in your endeavors."  Blah.  Once, and only once, I got one that I think was actually written by a human, specifically for me.  The agent was sweet, very funny, and told me to keep going.  And I do.

But it's painful sometimes, to read that your work wasn't right, or wasn't good enough, or just wasn't...whatever it is books need to be to get that magical stamp of approval.  Would it help if I told you are not alone?  Even the best of the best were turned down, sometimes even laughed at, when they started writing.  Check out this post to see what authors like George Orwell, Stephen King, and Joseph Heller had to put up with when they tried to sell their books.  (Here's another, though some of them are repeats.)

It's not going to be easy if you choose to pursue publication.  It doesn't matter if you are self-publishing or if you're querying agents.  You're going to meet with people who don't like your work, don't like your characters, don't understand your point, or just don't like you.  Face it, accept it, and ignore it.  It's not worth splitting hairs over what every single person you come across thinks about you and your writing.

Take heart, my friends, and forge ahead.  Remember why you write.  Hold fast to your passion and your determination.  When you meet with rejection, learn what you can from it, but move on.  It'll make you a better writer--and a happier person--in the long run.

~Trisha